The Magic of Social Graces

There is quite a bit that I can say about social graces for the magician, but today I’ll confine myself to making conversation after a performance. This applies to those who perform a stage show, but especially to those who work up close (mix & mingle, strolling, walk-around, table-hopping, what-have-you).

If you’re sensitive to what happens after you finish your performance, you’ll know that people will say things like, “Wow!” and “That was great!” and “That was amazing!”

And then, if you’re not prepared, there’s a pause — which can grow to become an awkward silence — as your guests run out of superlatives and fall mute.

If you think about it, it’s quite natural that your audience be at a loss for words. If you’ve done your job well, they’ve probably never experienced the level of astonishment that you’ve just given them. You have seized the spotlight and amazed them, and nothing in their social experience tells them what to do next.

I mean, imagine you were at a cocktail party and you met someone and they said, “Look what I can do…” And then they spun their head around 360 degrees ala Linda Blair.

After you say, “Wow!” what do you say next?

It’s a conversation stopper.

And magic can do the same effect, so it’s up to us (as good entertainers) to help people out by assisting them in restarting the conversation.

Of course you can just say thanks and walk away, but it is not my preferred route. True, sometimes the situation dictates that you not spend time visiting with the guests. Once I was hired to perform for a reception of 300 people for 1 hour. I told the event planner that in order to ensure good coverage (to allow a majority of the attendees to see some magic), I recommended either extending the duration of my performance for a couple hours, or hiring a couple other magicians. Budget constraints, however, would not allow it. So I performed a very short piece of magic for each group, and without pausing to converse with my guests, I would make a speedy departure to find another group to work for.

It was not an optimal situation however, as I’ve found that most guests enjoy interacting with and talking to the magician (how often do they get to do that?). For many people the highlight of the event will be “I got to meet the magician.” And not “…and then my card turned over in the deck!”

But as I mentioned above, sometimes, especially after witnessing great magic, they don’t know how to proceed with the conversation. (In my experience, only 1-in-12 people are skilled enough in conversation that they can ask, “So how did you learn magic?” or “How long have you been performing?” or “Who are your favorite magicians?” or “Where else do you perform?”)

So one thing I do to help them out is to turn the subject of the conversation back to them.

If they’ve indicated that they enjoy seeing magic, I like to ask, “Do you do any magic yourself?”

I’ve met a number of amateur magicians this way, and even if they don’t currently perform, they will often tell me that they used to do magic when they were younger or that they used to have a deck of magic cards, etc. At any rate, I’ve restarted the conversation and I’ve given them a path for us to move the discussion beyond, “Wow, that was great…”

Another conversation starter for someone who has indicated that they like magic is “Who’s your favorite magician?” Or “Who else have you seen perform?” Now they can talk about who they saw on their trip to Vegas and you can tell them which shows are worth seeing next time they go, etc.

When working restaurants, at the end of my performance I say, “So are you here for a special occasion?” It’s not always a “special” occasion, but they usually have some story to tell about why they chose to come here tonight. And of course, if it’s a birthday or anniversary, well, I have a special trick up my sleeve to commemorate the occasion.

In my opinion, it’s you’re ability to interact with people in a social situation that will get you booked back. If you’re a magician who is a master of sleight-of-hand, but you lack the social skills to put people at ease, it’s going to hurt your ability to get bookings.